Pinocchio, Snow White and Superman

Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a little stroll in town one afternoon enjoying the sunshine.

As they walked, they come across a sign: "Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world."

"I am entering!" said Snow White.

After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, "Well, how'd ya go?"

"I won First Place !," said Snow White.

They continue walking and they see another sign: "Contest for the strongest man in the world."

"I'm entering," says Superman.

After half an hour, he returns and they ask him, "How did you make out?"

"I won First Place , too," answers Superman. "Did you ever have a doubt?"

They continue walking when they see a third sign: "Contest - Who is the greatest liar in the world?"

Pinocchio quickly enters the contest. After half an hour he returns with tears in his eyes.

"What happened?" they asked.

"Who the hell is Julia Gillard?" asked Pinocchio.

Help Save the Gorillas

Life in the Australian Army.

I received this email today and had a chuckle




Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad.

(Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland )

Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the farm. Tell them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack - nothin'!! Ya haz gotta shower though, but its not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing!

At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks or possum stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed again until noon and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we've been on a 'route march' - geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the back paddock!!

This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody possum's bum and it don't move and it's not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target - it's a piece of piss!! You don't even load your own cartridges, they comes in little boxes, and ya don't have to steady yourself against the roll bar of the roo shooting truck when you reload!

Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug, Phil, Jack, Boori, Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster. Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers - he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders and as ya know I'm only 5 ft 7ins & eight stone wringin' wet, but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.

I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.



Your loving daughter,

Sheila

ALDI - Smarter Shopping

Smarter Shopping - YUH!

I returned to Aldi today. I did. I'm not a fan. Apparently I'm missing something by not going there. I'll tell ya what I'm missing - a horrible experience!!!!!

There is an Aldi in Ashgrove now so since I was passing through that suburb today I thought I'd give it a go. I took my bags with me and went in. As I wasn't planning on getting much I didn't get a trolly (that you have to pay for. Good idea I guess so they get them returned but also doing someone out of a job). I would only need a little carry basket. Oh, they don't have any. How odd.

As I meander my way down the idles of stacked boxes, very stylish, I actually recognised one product. Vegemite! I picked up a few things and proceeded to the very long checkout. Not a long queue a long conveyor belt. The checkout guy was whizzing my items through like there was no tomorrow. What was his rush I was wondering, there really aren't a heck of a lot of customers in here?

I was putting my purchases into my bags, as quick as I could. The guy kept piling them up on top of this tin of biscuits I bought and I kept removing them so I could get the tin in the bag first. I asked him if he wouldn't mind stopping that and what was the rush anyway? I tell ya, that place is just horrible.

I've definitely learnt my lesson - stay away!!! And really, it's not even that cheap anyway. I took a brochure with me and there are a few things going on sale tomorrow but I must stay away!

The Garden Shed

Finally, after months of waiting, we have a new little garden shed to keep all the stuff for the pool in. Our pool is in the front so as soon as you drive up our driveway you can see it and all the mess. Well now there's no mess! Yahoo!

Here are some photos I took over the last two Saturdays. Such a small shed was awfully complicated to put together. The instructions left an awful lot to be desired. Mr Mumfies is no dummy and he was having trouble.

The kids all had to help, which they happily did! No they didn't! They helped but there weren't a lot of smiles to be seen. Fuzz Ball was probably the most helpful, as usual. The other two just aren't work bees. Foo even tried to sneak into the pool a few times.

But it's finished and I'm happy - for now!

Still having trouble with photos. Try again soon. Grrrr

Got some up. Had more trouble. Some were only half showing. Grrrrr again. Back to it late then.

Happy Birthday Nonni :)

Another birthday, busy times!

My Mum is having her birthday today. Lots of love from all of us xxx

This photo was taken a few years ago. I couldn't get a recent one. I'm having terrible trouble with my photos lately!

Mum is the blonde on the left.

Fuzzball is now 14!

Yesterday (Oct 21) our dear darling first born, Fuzzball turned 14. He was born a cute little bub weighing 8lb 11 1/2oz. He's now a solid fit guy who is a whisker off my height. He's had a bit of a growth spurt this year - thank goodness! Won' t be long and he'll tower over me. Fuzzball is a pretty good kid, just drives us nuts! Gotta luv 'im!



Here are a some pics I took of him on his bed after school.



Took this little clip of Fuzzball mowing out at Mr Mumfies seniors the other weekend.
Well, after a few hours of having it loading, I decided it was too much hassle! No idea why it took so long. Stupid computers! Here's a photo of him mowing, just imagine it moving!
Far out - now I can't get the photo up. I tell ya... I'm going insane! I'll try again later.

Brisbane Barbie

A friend sent me this email and I found it quite funny! It can be adapted to suit any town, which I'm guessing it has been. The photos wouldn't copy over so that's a shame. There were pictures with Barbie to do with each suburb. It took ages for me to be able to publish this as there were codes not allowed. What the?! The one term of IT I did years ago wasn't quite enough!! Anyway, I figured it out. Didn't get the photos in though. Seem to have odd line spacing too. Too complicated for me!!

Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Brisbane market:

"Ascot Barbie"

This princess Barbie is sold only at Eagle farm racetrack. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, and a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a designer kitchen. Available with or without tummy tuck and face-lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

“Clayfield Barbie"

The modern day Homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Explorer and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

"Woodridge Barbie"

This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Ford Rodeo with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) ...unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

"Hamilton Barbie"

This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own cappuccino cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

“Caboolture Barbie"

This pale model comes dressed in her own Jeans West jeans two sizes too small, a similar sized t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a carton of blonde full-strength beer and a Jimmy Barnes CD set, as well as lots of boof boof

Music. She can spit over 2½ metres and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt from midland to Boya, when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a Bad Girl sticker absolutely free.

"New Farm Barbie"

This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Valium prescription available as well as warehouse conversion condo.

"Logan Barbie"

This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Barbie's Butler house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Mobile home also available.

"Westend Barbie"

This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Bacardi Breezers and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.

"Ipswich Barbie"

This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a Medicare Card and Centrelink bus pass. Ex-crim Ken and his 1979 Commodore wagon were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

"Wellington Point Barbie"

She's perfect in every way. We don't know where Ken is because he's always out fishing.

"Fortitude Valley Barbie/Ken"

This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on body parts.

Kokoda Challenge Photos

Hi Everyone

Thought it was about time I put some photos and info on here about how Mr Mumfies and friends pulled up after their adventure. Laugh!!! Oh, oops... I mean... well done guys! I copied this from an email one of the other guys sent. Saves me having to think of what to say. Well, to be fair, I wasn't even there!!

Fuzz Ball and Mr Mumfies Senior also went down and visited. Not me! I did check up on them on the internet and phoned them though :)

Thank you all sincerely for your support (both financial and moral) and to Sizzler for their shirt support Jeremy we received many positive comments along the track re Sizzler! AND a Special thank you to Deborah, Liz, Trudy, Paul, Emma, Fraser -for their Support Crew Activities - (and particularly Paul's night session complete with heater and liquid refreshments!)

Well we finished the Challenge - only 1 of 130 odd teams out of 300 plus that made over the line as a team! - in a the time of 31 hours / 14 minutes and 22 seconds!!!!!!!!!!

Refreshing your memory

The Kokoda Challenge. Is a non-stop 96 km rugged Mountain trek through the mountains in the Gold Coast Hinterland, that we must complete in under 39 hours over the weekend of Sat / Sun 18th and 19th July - IN SUMMARY A BLOODY LONG WAY!

A few pictures showing us -

At the presentation with the Diggers

Getting ready to receive certificates and dog tags and presentation

Having a well earned Beer!

We all felt ok after the event with a few blisters and a bit of chafing where you do not want chafing but other than that all ok, and we sensibly had a debrief and rehydration session at Team Head quarters -AKA "The Gap Tavern" on Monday after completing the challenge.

Happy Father's Day!

A big happy father's day to my Dad. He's in England at the moment. Perhaps he'll drop by and see this.

Enjoy your day, all you Dads out there :)

xxxxxx

Bitchology

A friend sent me an email the other day. I quite like it so thought I'd share it with you. I often say what everyone else seems to be able to keep to themselves, ending up in hot water. Oh my! Deep down I am quite a decent and kind person, it's just very deep down!



FINALLY - Someone is bitchy enough to say it like it REALLY is!

BITCHOLOGY When I stand up for Myself and my beliefs, They call me a Bitch. When I stand up for Those I love, They call me a Bitch. When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts Or do things my own way, they call me a Bitch. Being a bitch Means I won't Compromise what's In my heart. It means I live my life MY way. It means I won't allow anyone to step on me. When I refuse to Tolerate injustice and Speak against it, I am Defined as a Bitch. The same thing happens when I take time for Myself instead of being everyone's maid, Or when I act a little selfish. It means I have the courage and strength To allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become Anyone else's idea of what they think I 'should' be.

I am outspoken, opinionated and determined. I want what I want And there is nothing wrong with that! So try to stomp on me, just try to douse my inner flame, Try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me. You won't succeed. And if that makes me a bitch, so be it. I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.

B - Babe
I - In
T - Total
C - Control of
H - Herself

B = Beautiful
I = Intelligent
T = Talented
C = Charming
H = Hell of a Woman

B = Beautiful
I = Individual
T = That
C = Can
H = Handle 'anything'

My Little Twins

Mr Mumfies and I have been busy getting ready for the upcoming trivia night for our children's football club. I put in a USB to check what was on it and found these photos. They were taken two years ago when Foo and Princess played in an Under 8s carnival. We said they were twins. Princess was 10 at the time. She didn't tower over anyone so was all good. It was a great day and they both enjoyed playing together and even came away with a medal each.

These photos show the team lining up ready to run on.

Our Little Princess

My Mum and Dad have been going through old photos and sent me this one of our gorgeous little Princess. She was about 5 years old here. So damn cute!

Kokoda Challenge - how family and friends can track you from home!

From Mr Mumfies...

Spare a thought for me this weekend - I’m competing in Australia’s toughest endurance event, the Kokoda Challenge. Starting 7am Saturday, I’ll be walking 96 km through the Gold Coast Hinterland within 39 hours (that’s more than double a marathon, non-stop and over hills).

I thought you might like to watch my progress in the safety of your own homes via the internet.

Due to fantastic technology provided by KML Tracks and Telstra Next G - you can watch me progress through the 96km course via google earth on the internet - just visit http://www.kokodachallenge.com and click on Virtual Spectator.

The Virtual Spectator is in demo mode this week so you can play around and get use to the program - it will turn live at 7am on Saturday 18th August.

My team name is Sheer as and 259

I am not just doing this for the physical challenge - it is also to raise money for a very worthy charity that runs the Kokoda Challenge Youth Program, an early intervention program for young people from all walks of life which encourages them to learn the skills and values of discipline, tolerance, respect and self worth.

My team is raising money and if you want to support my crazy efforts you can make a fully tax deductible donation to my team through the Kokoda Challenge Online Donation facility. Just select my team name from the drop down menu - even $5 helps and it is all going towards a very worthy cause.

If you would like to find out more or sponsor my team, please visit http://www.kokodachallenge.com/team-profile

Please be with me in spirit online this weekend. I’d really appreciate your support.

Kokoda Challenge - almost there!

Something from Mr Mumfies......

Hi Everyone

Just updating you on my current escapades!

As you are probably aware I have been in training for some time with my team (of 4) , which has basically been hiking for prolonged periods 8/10 hours at time through the night and all through the day, climbing the equivalent of Mount Everest on Kangaroo Point Cliffs etc etc all to prepare for -

The Kokoda Challenge. A non-stop 96 km rugged Mountain trek through the mountains in the Gold Coast Hinterland, that we must complete in under 39 hours over the weekend of Sat / Sun 18th and 19th July

NOTE - Last year only a 1/3rd of teams completed the event (and of those only 50% completed in under 30 hours!)

Apart from trying to relive our youth our team all in its 40's and 50's is also trying to -

Raise Funds for Kokoda Challenge Youth Program

These funds go to the Kokoda Challenge Youth Program, a very worthwhile cause, where the funds raised are used to channel young people into very worthwhile and positive pursuits, the 12 month long program is designed to improve self confidence, provide a greater sense of being part of a community and to gain a clearer sense of purpose, as well as preparing for the ultimate challenge of walking the actual Kokoda Track in Papua New Guinea

Your Support Financial or Otherwise (Text) would be appreciated - We are trying to raise as many sponsors by end of Business Thursday 2/7/09

Please make a (tax deductible) donation to the charity we are supporting - I have in my office tax receipt books for any cash donation or you can donate on-line at http://www.kokodachallenge.com/

Important Note - For on line donations

Please make sure you reference our team name, ‘Sheer-As’. Every on line donation gives you the chance to win a trip to do the Kokoda Trail in New Guinea.

We have already had a number of generous pledges of donations and sponsorship and we thank everyone who has so generously supported this worthwhile cause to date.

Thank you for support financial and otherwise to date.

This link is directly to our team
http://www.kokodachallenge.com/index.php?page=current-teams&team_name_number=sheer+as&team_category=

PS -

Any text support on the day / night of Sat 18th July AND Sun 19th July would also be greatly appreciated as believe me you run out of things quickly to say to 3 other blokes you have spent literally days hiking with - let alone approx 30 hours straight - no sleep etc

Kind Regards

Happy Birthday Princess!

Today our little Princess is 12 years old. As you do every birthday, you just wonder where the time has gone.... blah blah blah....

Princess is an absolute treasure I must say, especially being in the middle of two boys. Nice break. In the photo here, Princess is almost 7, holding our cat Ralph, when he was kitten.

Princess is away on her year 7 camp this week so we don't get to do anything yet, or even speak with her. I'm sure she is coping better than us!

This week has certainly been a quiet one. Fuzz Ball is away on camp too! Amazing that you could get two away together. We did get ripped off one night with Fuzz Ball's due to the weather. It was absolutely pouring rain on Monday so it was put off until Tuesday. Unfortunately the year 9s are still returning today. I know Fuzz Ball was hoping to return Friday.

We have had one very happy 10 year old in the house the last couple of days! I did have to bring him back to earth by reminding him that since he is the only child he has to do ALL the jobs. DOH!

This photo came up on the screen saver and I really like it. Isn't she cute?! Princess is 8 here.

Mt Barney Walk/Hike/Climb - whatever you like to call it!

Saturday Mr Mumfies needed to do some more training for the Kokoda Challenge and, as per usual, no one wanted to go with him!!! He managed to talk Fuzz Ball, Foo and Foo's friend into going. They had a great time with Foo and Friend having an endless pot of energy. Oh to be 10!!

They were all pretty tired when they came home however they were full of energy and enjoyed sharing the stories.

You can have a look here....



It may be a little fuzzy, but you get the idea.

Happy Birthday!

Today is Mr Mumfies's birthday. Phew, love this day.... means we're now not the same age! He wanted Beef Stroganoff for dinner, so that's what we're having. Nice and easy :) Will get the kids to set up a fire too, if we have enough wood left. Thankfully Fuzz Ball doesn't have a game tonight as he has done for the last month. We can stay home, out of the cold. Yep, we're old!!

Kokoda Challenge

Mr Mumfies is off on another long walk. He must be mad! Yes, I think he is! You can see what's happening, just copy and paste the address below.

http://www.kokodachallenge.com/index.php?page=current-teams&team_name_number=sheer+as&team_category=