Brisbane Barbie

A friend sent me this email and I found it quite funny! It can be adapted to suit any town, which I'm guessing it has been. The photos wouldn't copy over so that's a shame. There were pictures with Barbie to do with each suburb. It took ages for me to be able to publish this as there were codes not allowed. What the?! The one term of IT I did years ago wasn't quite enough!! Anyway, I figured it out. Didn't get the photos in though. Seem to have odd line spacing too. Too complicated for me!!

Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Brisbane market:

"Ascot Barbie"

This princess Barbie is sold only at Eagle farm racetrack. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, and a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a designer kitchen. Available with or without tummy tuck and face-lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

“Clayfield Barbie"

The modern day Homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Explorer and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

"Woodridge Barbie"

This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Ford Rodeo with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) ...unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

"Hamilton Barbie"

This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own cappuccino cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

“Caboolture Barbie"

This pale model comes dressed in her own Jeans West jeans two sizes too small, a similar sized t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a carton of blonde full-strength beer and a Jimmy Barnes CD set, as well as lots of boof boof

Music. She can spit over 2½ metres and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt from midland to Boya, when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a Bad Girl sticker absolutely free.

"New Farm Barbie"

This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Valium prescription available as well as warehouse conversion condo.

"Logan Barbie"

This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Barbie's Butler house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Mobile home also available.

"Westend Barbie"

This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Bacardi Breezers and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.

"Ipswich Barbie"

This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a Medicare Card and Centrelink bus pass. Ex-crim Ken and his 1979 Commodore wagon were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

"Wellington Point Barbie"

She's perfect in every way. We don't know where Ken is because he's always out fishing.

"Fortitude Valley Barbie/Ken"

This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on body parts.